Meta-mor-formin-osis

My dayplanner was in my right hand with my hat and scarf.  I hurriedly shifted it over after realizing Shimon was holding his hand out to shake goodbye.  This had puzzled me, as my impulse was to hug him though I didn’t know him that well.  So, instead, I became withdrawn in my confusion of my lack of emotion.  I didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, yes.  Yes, thank you so much Shimon.  Really, thank you.” I reciprocated with a firm grasp and returned his smile before checking out.

For the first time in well over a year, if not over two, I was leaving a doctor’s office without being a bawling ball of frustration and anger.  I was in a state of shock.  Could I possibly just receive the news I had been awaiting?  Was my long fight finally over?

Some friends have referred to my diagnosis as bittersweet.  I, however, am ecstatic.  It took countless appointments and doctors, thousands of dollars out of pocket, and every ounce of my strength to brush off every time a doctor suggested I was depressed and binge eating.  Finally, thanks to the recent unsightly stretch mark on my stomach, I had proof of my rapid weight gain and a doctor concerned enough to listen.

Now, I was incredibly scared as Shimon went through my labs step by step.  My fingers were crossed and nestled under my leg.  Everything was “normal” across the board.  My thyroid is happy, my pituitary is happy, cortisol, sex hormones, a little anemia, but everything was within range.  At that point, I really didn’t know what to think aside from the fact that maybe I was crazy.

And then, he pointed out my FSH ratio to my estrogen while explaining what each does.  While they are within normal range, they were opposite to where they should be in relationship to each other.

“You came here for help.  I said I would try to help you.  As I suspected, you have insulin resistance due to PCOS.  As I mentioned your first visit- if you would like, we can try Metaformin to give you a fighting chance.  Right now, your body is turning everything to fat.  This isn’t a miracle pill- you will have to eat well and do your working out.  But is should help.  Then come back in 3 month and we will see how you are doing and talk about birth control pills as you should go on them.”

Holy CRAP!  So, basically my body has been turning my food into fat cells and storing it- and my cells are starving because of it.  So, this is why I am now obese and ridiculously exhausted all the time.  Not to mention my periods that last 6hrs-3 weeks at intervals of over a month, to over 3 months.  The metaformin should regulate my blood sugar and assist in me converting what I eat to actual fuel for my body.

Today is the end of day 3, and I am already up to a full dose.  I don’t know if it is the medication, or the fact I have hope, but I was hyper today for the first time I can remember since first finding out I have Hashimoto’s.  At work, I had to make sure I was slowing down my pace when speaking with people.  The grin on my face was sincere and not one trying to mask my body fighting me to keep moving.  I have been happy, but always with an underlying ache here or numbness there.

So, cross your fingers for me.  Later, I’ll get into my thoughts on how this happened- I have known I probably had PCOS all along and that going off of Depo Provera was the straw that broke this camel’s back.  But, for now I am going to rejoice in the fact that I have hope and joy.

And, for giggles, I am going to do a plaster cast of my torso in its 200lbs of glory.  My goal is that that layer will be the biggest I will be ever again, if not for a while… but I learned a lot from my body in its current state and would like to honor it.

Besides, I am Sushi Thryoid- which means this will be a never ending battle, but at least the rules have changed in my favor for once.  If this works, and I do lose some weight before my next visit with Shimon, I am so hugging that man.

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